Many people say the Chinese education is the utilitarian education, education is rigid. Indeed, China's education has a lot of problems, a lot of parents careless approach can make children. So, what the most taboo to do as a parent? Children's biggest worry?
1, can't argue
Parents gave children most avoid is not argue. Children most afraid of is: there is no chance to appeal, if would argue, is seen as make back, shall be punished severely. This is typical of the feudal patriarchal, is the opposite of equality, democratic spirit, making to be!
Just think, if the child was accustomed to adapt to the injustice, if children do nothing but seek permission no own idea, we love the children will be how to face their life? Develop a rational and published their own views on children is far more important than keep adult's face.
2, family discord
Adults don't know self-effacing, often blame each other. Actually, whether parents quarrel, or elderly parents and parents, for children are psychologically thunder and lightning, the sleet, but his age is small, powerless, sobbing in the corner quietly. A harmonious family atmosphere for the growth of children, like plenty of sunshine and water.
Parents is the child's weather, the relationship between the child's mind is still very young, the bad weather not only hinder the children's physical and mental health, also tend to lifelong psychological shadow. Build a warmth, love the family, it is the responsibility of parents to the child.
3, parents conduct
The teacher just speak the language the United States, home can hear adults suck; Class has just received the morality education, parents can't litter and pick up the money to turn over to the authorities.
The progress of civilization, make the child in terms of morality and accomplishment starting point is higher than their parents, so let's let parents shelf, to learn from children, this is the result of times development and trends, no sorry, in fact, we need to still have a lot of children learn.
4, my parents don't play with yourself
Favorite family in childhood children games, unfortunately, the opportunity is not much. The adults have their own world and the entertainment, in China, play with children has long been considered dispensable.
Spend more time with children, and children together game, look at children changes from day to day, grow up, is a wonderful thing ah, such as children enter adolescence or older, the opportunity is less, or while you enjoy a lot of god-given happiness. Dads don't think have no face with his wife and children, this is the feudal dross, great man's doctrine of the higher level of civilization and social strata, the more attention to and family to get along with.
5, parents' bad habits or habits
Cigarette smoke, drunk day, mahjong sound, the other side of the bad habit is bad character, adults drink too much wine, mahjong lose, finally suffer is myself. Bad habits, not only bring family troubles, more important is great harm to one's own body.
Whether the habit for many years, or bullet quit, no don't change the habit, only don't want to change!
6, parents arranged
Both wear clothes, time arrangement, and make friends, choose interest class, can't own. The interpretation of the adult is always: what children understand, this is for your own good.
Parents arranged phenomenon is very common in China, or parents mind at rest, either think your idea is right and wrong is important, in fact, even if the child again small, also is a person, their interest and feel the need to respect, they should have a certain range of autonomy, only give them the opportunity to be your own boss, they can develop their own personality, not only have no definite view.
To make friends, we should give them the guidance of the principle, but it is best not to specific intervention, in fact, what kind of friends what kind of benefits, study not good friends may be bored, living brain, also can enrich children's character, we do not even the adults have any friends?
7, language hurt
Big population not outspoken, but "a single kind word keeps one warm for three winters, taunting June cold", if you are not a child, will never understand the scolded by his parents, degeneration of taste.
Even in the face of their children, to speak and don't have no choice, the smaller the child age, their evaluation of the parents, the more depend on the negative evaluation, the bad mood to the child's damage is very big, in fact, in a word, also have different Angle and way, the view of goodwill and encourage more than blame and degeneration can play a positive effect.
8, the parents promise
Promised things do not recognise or compromised or indefinitely delay, don't tube himself forward, looking forward to for long.
Parents' promise two obvious negative effects: first, the prestige of the parents, and parents' authority is the foundation of education; Second, the dishonest ACTS of parents to give children set a negative example, you speak not count, it is difficult to request and hope to children his word, as long as you are unable to fully monitor, children are faithless may at any time.
9, do not be respected
Building model be thrown away, stick a wall painting was ripped, raising small animals are away or eat. Do your own indiscretions, parents would tell people.
Parents are respected, not a big reason is because they themselves nor respected by parents as a child. Don't know how to maintain the child's parents pride is the failure of their parents
10, lack of tolerance and understanding
Children are young, thinking ability and physical ability is not mature, most of the time was wrong, trouble will be far from children, but children can not get the tolerance and understanding.
Spirit of the Chinese general lack of trying, a big reason is because of childhood, try to fail is not tolerance and encouragement, and afraid to try. Advises parents friends child unintentional fault tolerance, encourage children to try on your ideas, although not necessarily successful, but children can get opportunities for growth.